What If I Was A Voting Member of AMPAS (And My Ballot Was The Only One That Counted)…

Amid all the hubbub the past couple of years around the news that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences was taking dramatic action to invite more women and people of color into its ranks, I remember reading a rather cautionary news item in one of the Hollywood trade publications concerning the relative dearth of award-worthy films by filmmakers of color (read: African Americans) for the calendar year that just concluded. The writer lamented that a standout work on the level of Barry Jenkins’ MOONLIGHT or even BIRTH OF A NATION, by disgraced director Nate Parker, was not apparently in the offing, creating a barren selection pool of 2017 films for an Academy membership nominally more diversified that ever before.

That article was published back in March, after the conclusion of perhaps the most controversial Oscars® telecast ever.

While I’m not going to say that things have shaped up considerably since that article was published (in fact, I would say that things are about on apar with the 2016 eligibility year), I’m of the opinion that as a group, the AMPAS membership doesn’t really challenge itself to vote outside the box. Or to even watch movies outside of a tightly-prescribed canon of award-worthy films or filmmakers. Thus, a lot of otherwise exceptional and worthy films, actors, and below-the-line creatives are ignored or aren’t even considered. Well, I’m here to do something about that.

Imagine that I, Abraham Ferrer, was a voting member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. Now imagine that due to a perfect storm of cataclysmic circumstances (completed ballots incinerated in a raging brushfire; the central post office blows up; a major internet meltdown erases all online ballots; online ballots infected with some malicious software courtesy of the Occupy Movement — or Russia, or North Korea, or deviant dweebs from Cal Tech, take your pick — rendering ballots unreadable; or Marky Mark Wahlberg stages a daring daytime heist of the ballots to protest his film DADDY’S HOME 2 not getting any Oscars® love), not a single ballot reaches the Academy in time to be tabulated in time for the “Big Reveal” or nominees on January 23.

Except — ahem — mine. I know, I know. Just go with me on this…

With time running out til the Big Event, the Academy throws its hands up in the air and accepts my ballot selections as the basis of this year’s slate of Oscars® nominees. Once I finish giving myself some serious dap for turning in a duly-completed ballot that represents the aspirations of my fellow Academy members (not to mention the hopes of a movie-mad metropolis that frankly is already hopping mad that Harry Styles hasn’t been getting any love as a Best Supporting Actor prospect for DUNKIRK, among other things), I come to the realization that my fellow Academy members may have some heated thoughts as to my choices for Oscar® nominations. In the interest of bringing clarity to my decisions (and to sadly acknowledge that trying to assemble a “best-of” list of 2017 films is pretty stupid), I’m following through with this — presenting, my Oscar® ballot of official nominees. These selections are mine and mine alone, based on a selection of movies I actually watched this year. And this time, there’s no turning back. Deal with it, Hollywood…

 

THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES ARE NOW LIVE FOR VIEWING PLEASURE